While Mommy and Daddy are trying to raid, suddenly there is a cry for help through the baby monitor!  One of us (usually Daddy since he’s not healing) goes to investigate…

Twig: Pants!

Daddy: Yes, I can see you’re not wearing pants.  Where are your pants?

Twig: Pants hiding!

Daddy: Where are your pants hiding?

Twig: In the drawer.

Daddy: How did they get in the drawer?

Twig: New pants!

Daddy: Ok, we’re gonna put on your pants, and don’t take off your pants again, ok?  Go to sleep.

Mommy: What is it, Twig?

Twig: Cricket outside!

Mommy: Uh yeah, crickets live outside.  That’s ok.  Go to sleep.

Twig:  I dropped Mouse!

Daddy: Where is Mouse?

Twig: Hiding under the bed.

Daddy: And by “hiding under the bed” you mean you shoved him between the bed and the wall so Daddy would have to crawl all the way under the bed…. thanks.

Twig: Mouse hiding.

Daddy: Don’t drop Mouse again.  Go to sleep.

Mommy: Twig?

(Twig is STANDING on the window ledge 3 feet off the ground.)

Mommy: (Grabs Twig.  Has heart attack.) We do not climb on the window.  Get back in bed.  Go to sleep.

Daddy: What’s wrong.

Twig: Fix pillow.

Daddy: Ok.. pillow fixed.  Go to sleep.

Twig: New diaper!

Mommy: But your diaper is dry.

Twig: New diaper!

Mommy: Ok fine, whatever.  (Takes off old diaper, hides it under table, brings it back out as “new diaper.”)

Twig: Cat make noise!

Daddy: Ok, Daddy will shut the cat up.

(Catnip toy is confiscated to prevent cat making noise.)


[Off-Topic] While Mommy and Daddy are Trying to Raid… — 11 Comments

    • Nah, it depends on the night and the excuse.  Usually only 1-2 of those excuses on any given night, and “new diaper” is far more common than pants shenanigans.  And she scared herself so silly with the window ledge thing that it never happened again.

  1. yeah that sounds like almost every night at my place currently.  Oldest is constantly climbing out of bed and opening the door asking for cuddles, then food, then to find 1 of the 4 toys he likes to sleep with.
    makes for a very fragmented playing sequence :)

    • Our first tactic was, of course, “Ok you can sleep without pants, whatever.”  But she INSISTED that the pants MUST BE LOCATED.  Sigh.

  2. And you just know that if you were watching a movie or reading a book, or some other easily-interrupted activity that didn’t involve eight to twenty-three other people… she’d go to sleep without a peep!

  3. Ah yes, I see this stage fast approaching… once Nomster skills up in Talking there will be no stopping her. I’ll just have to roll her a death knight and let her play too.

    • The secret weapon is… playground.  Around here it’s way too hot to be outside, but if we are srs about getting her to sleep, we cut off nap time no matter how soundly asleep she is (or how much mommy wants to continue to nap… yes nap time is not just for babies) and drag her to the indoor playscape for a few hours.  She sleeps almost immediately at bedtime after that workout.  Downside is that mommy and daddy have to chug caffeine during the raid… after all, you can’t just let a 2.5 year old loose in a playground.  You always need an adult handy to follow and catch – or chase off the big nasty children.