Ok, how many times in the last… month or so have people posted about how to be ready to raid? And how many of our raiders are ready? Like none. This is because they don’t read! Or don’t know how! Or we write too much.
So here’s the absolute final, no-nonsense, short-short-short TL;DR list on how 2 show up for a raid, and after this I’m going to wash my hands of the failnerds who still aren’t paying attention.
- Find Answers Online. This might as well be the only thing on the list. If you need an answer to a question, your momma isn’t going to tell you. FIND IT. If you are whining about how you can’t find it, you fail. GOOGLE. FUCKING. SEARCH. How do you not know this already?
- Get Gear. But how do I get gear? Oh right GOOGLE FUCKING SEARCH. What level of gear do I need for Raid X? What stats are good? GOOGLE FUCKING SEARCH.
- Enchant and gem that shit. If it can take an enchant, enchant it. If it has a slot, gem it. What stats? GOOGLE FUCKING SEARCH. Wah wah I have to grind rep. If you spent as much time grinding as you did whining you’d be done by now. Unfortunately finding a fucking backbone is not on GOOGLE.
- Bring consumables. Duh what do I need to bring to a raid? How on earth will I find that information? There’s this dude I know, his name is GOOGLE F. SEARCH.
- Study the boss encounters. OH WHERE am I going to discover these tidbits? OOOGLE-GAY UCKING-FAY EARCH-SAY.
- L2P. This should really be first because it is assumed, but geesh people, know how to play your class before showing up. I am confident at this point that you can find out how. It starts with GOOGLE and ends with SEARCH.
In conclusion: shut the hell up and type in a search term already. If you wanted to find something porn-related, it would take you about 30 seconds to find hawt chipmunk-on-squirrel action, but when it comes to how to gem warlock GOSH I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE.
I realize that GFS may not be the best source of online information. However, it is a source that is completely accessible by basic common sense to: the new-to-WoW; the unitiated in WoW resources; those strapped for time; the incurably stupid; and the lazy. No excuse for not having looked it up. None.
In fact, I just did one for something random. How do I gem for an arcane mage? Check this shit out:
Seriously. I found my answer in ONE GOOGLE FUCKING SEARCH.1 It wasn’t rocket scientist search terms, it was THAT EASY.
I need a beer.
- Now you might say “you did multiple searches and picked the best one to show us. Well, I assure you that I am FAR too lazy to do that. ONE SEARCH. FIRST PAGE. Then I went to do randoms because I still need fucking badges. ↩