A small sector of the blogosphere is a wee bit upset about someone who behaved jerkishly in a pug and told the story on his blog.  Some are offended by the acts, others offended in the way of telling, and still others are not seeing why the first two groups are that offended at all.

I have behaved jerkishly in pugs.  I can behave jerkishly all I want and never tell you about it.  You’ll never know the difference.  But if I do choose to tell you, I open myself up to censure – either for how I acted in the first place or the tone and attitude I take in the retelling.

We all do shit we’re not proud of, in anger, in emotion… whatever.  And we don’t have to admit to it on our blogs.  But if we do, and people get riled up about it, pro or con.

The criticism may have the effect of preventing the behavior but it for sure makes the blogger think twice about sharing in the future.  Which is a damn shame, because I like hearing stories that are uncensored, real, and maybe not as politically correct as we should all behave.  I may not agree with the actions, but I support the story’s retelling – in any manner that the blogger wants.


Comments

Bad Acts or Bad Admissions — 17 Comments

  1. Thank you so much for this post.
    I tried (and probably failed), in about 50 billion words, to explain this in a blog post yesterday, and you said it so eloquently and to the point in a few paragraphs. :)
    /salute!

    • I definitely read your post which was what prompted mine. I purposely didn’t link to anything so as not to “fan flames.”

      Also, it’s not just this ONE THING. This isn’t the first time this has happened, and it won’t be the last. But it could happen to ANY of us if we got popular enough for people to be outraged at our foibles – I’d be tossed into the bee pit and then some.

  2. I havn’t read the blog post but if a lot of it was fabricated to absolve them of guilt then I could see people being upset.  With all of us having been in horrible groups I can see venting a little or even dropping group being alright from time to time.  The extremely dickish moves would be leaving in the middle of a boss pull or dragging mobs to the group to intentionally wipe them.  My last healing run in heroic UP left me stuck on the alter on the first boss while the dps killed her and then the tank and dps ran off and left me there to get the DoT from the falling sword.  I didn’t drop group and leave but I let the tank and dps know that was a rude thing to do and for emphasis let their health get dangerously low on Skadi where they had to pop CD’s and a potion or two to survive.  I also didn’t top them off between pulls either.

  3. I was confused when I found the post you were referring to – was that all? lol?

    This is one of those things where I find myself thinking that some wow players seriously need to step out sometime and get some fresh air outside of the game, blowing stuff out of proportion much? 😀

    We’re all a little dickish sometime and heck, he was in some lousy pug, for all I know they deserved it and more power to him lol….learn to chill. if you can’t take it, don’t pug (I have a very bad opinion of pugging, yes – hence I stay away).

    anyway, I don’t see the issue and I think you spoke some very true words here. the only difference between this guy and everyone else is that he spoke honestly about something (trivial) he did in a pug, who are people to throw stones at him for it?

    • This.
      Not to mention that as far as I could tell, he assumed that the boss fight would be relegated to those players IN RANGE OF THE BOSS.  If he’d been right, and hadn’t been able to down him, the only thing that would’ve happened would’ve been that he died, and got a little embarrassed in front of a PUG.
       
      Yeah, he was a bit of a dick for going to pull the final boss without the rest of the group.  But he didn’t intend to wipe it.
       
      I admit that I get all up-in-arms about dicks in PuGs, but had I been in that group… well, okay, first off, I wouldn’t have run off when he was saying he honestly didn’t have time for the optional boss, but mainly I would’ve been like “Wow, I didn’t know that was zone wide!”, and he would’ve gone, “Uh, yeah, neither did I,” and it would’ve been all good.

  4. I thought it was a clear case of someone not realizing what his actions were saying.
    “Sorry, no time for optional bosses”. That’s a nonsense explanation now. Why did people skip optional bosses? Because they wanted the frost badges. There are no badges, only points. Optional bosses are the same points as end bosses. There is therefore no logical reason for skipping ‘optional’ bosses. Not the mention the two optional bosses in OK take about two minutes, each. If you can’t commit to a whole run, don’t queue. I saw in the post that he alluded to the fact that the queue took longer than he thought. Fine. Give yourself more time.
    “I’m just going to solo this boss” = I don’t need the rest of the party, nor do I care about whether they get what they want. If he assumed the effect was localized, why did he assume the rest of the party would get the “instance completed” points? What if they hadn’t? Was he really ok with forcing four people to get a deserter debuff because *he* didn’t have time? That’s what he ended up doing since they dropped group.
    Since he was out of time anyway, the right thing to do would have been to drop group himself. By the time he was back on his debuff would have been gone.
     
    Now, I don’t have a problem with someone acting like a jerk; most of us have done it. Or relating the stories; yeah, they can be funny. But I do have a problem with someone relating a story in a way that makes it clear that he STILL doesn’t see the real problem. He admits to being a jerk in his actions, but his attitude was the real problem, and he never admits or shows remorse for that.
    As the parent of a toddler who isn’t quite old enough to learn the difference between “bad act” and “bad attitude”, but will be soon, I’m hypersensitive to these things…

  5. I’m so behind on the news. I have no idea what the post in question is!
     
    I think there’s a lot of pent up (or not so pent up) anger in people against the idiots and jerks we meet in game. So when someone admits to an act of jerkiness, they immediately become a scapegoat. What tends to be forgotten is that we’re all human, we all have our moments of selfishness, of stupidity and of arseholeness. I don’t think it’s something to be proud of or advertised, but it is something to occasionally talk about and accept as human.

    • Pretty much, while I don’t agree with some bloggers’ actions or even their way of describing their actions, I think we need to respect that they had the balls to admit it. And while disagreement is totally what we do, I get really unhinged when people start trying to prevent other people from speaking. Kinda like how people attacked Red Shirt guy – omg stfu you are such a NERD. Would make him think twice about speaking up again – which is so WRONG because then the inaccuracy would stand mostly due to assholes who are meanies and intimidate people into silence. Granted those who stand up for red shirt guy are more numerous than detractors, but it’s the same principle. If criticism is going to make people think twice about posting truthfully and putting themselves out there again, then I’m not a fan. I’m not going to tell anyone they can’t, because it’s their right to post whatever they want… but I’m not a fan.

  6. I just went over to read the original post, and while I’ll freely admit I’d be pretty peeved if someone did that in a group I was in, he’s of course welcome to share it with everyone.
    However, I think people should be allowed to say that they don’t really like what he did as well. Isn’t that why we write? To have discussions?
    Of course it all depends on how people respond as well, it’s one thing to say that “hey I don’t really like what you did there because of x, y and z” or just going off and telling them they’re a jerk and putting things on a personal level.
    If I write about me acting like a total jerk on my blog people are welcome to say, “oh yeah, you totally were a jerk”.
    Maybe I missed some comments (I was just skimming through them since I’m at work) – but for the most part they weren’t too horrible. Sure, some of them got a bit personal starting to insult his guides (what does that have to do with anything?), but some of them were just saying that they wouldn’t have liked it if he did that in their group.
    But to finish up, I think we should all be able to write what we want – even if it’s not all nice and fluffy  – without fear of being ripped to shreds. While at the same time of course being able to have a discussion when people disagree with us.

    • Exactly.  Some people were calling for him being FIRED. Fired!  For writing something controversial on a personal blog?  Pft!

    • As far as I can tell, the idea that he should be fired was mainly a Twitter thing, and the WoW Insider editors that I follow quickly responded in the negative, dismissing the notion as ridiculous and overblown. The negative comments on the post itself weren’t that bad, in general.
      The severity of the overblown nature of those reactions is what I found the most disturbing part of the whole situation.

      • There’s a delicate balance between discussing differing viewpoints in disagreement (good) and vehemently disagreeing and railing to the point that speech is stifled (not good). The former promotes the free exchange of ideas in the blogosphere, the latter does the opposite, stomping down minority views under its giant politically-correct boot.

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  8. Exactly.
    I like to write about the game I play. As much material as there is in mocking pug groups, a lot of the time I do ridiculous things that deserve mocking, as well. I write what I hope to be entertaining stories, even if sometimes that means I look like a massive tool.
    In the end, it’s my personal blog. I will write about what I want without worry that I am not representing trolls/shaman/the general blogging community in a positive light. It isn’t my job. And unless a blog has otherwise stated so, it isn’t their job, either.
     

  9. As someone who has been (mildly) rebuked for how I behaved in a heroic story I related – I can definitely get behind this statement. Sometimes I HAVE acted like an ass and I’ll admit it when I’m called out on it. But it’s also made me question times I was thinking of relating stories, and that is a shame. Self-censorship is most insidious because you don’t even know it’s happening.