Because I’ve been working WAY too much, I got nothin’ in the way of game advice. I therefore present “cute and extremely annoying things Twig has been known to say and do lately.”
***
Twig has been wanting water at night by her bed. Whatever, she’s wearing diapers anyway, so she can drink as much as she wants. (We’ll be dealing with the diaper thing at some point, but not now.)
I gave her water in a cup with a lid and a straw. She turned over the cup and let all the water dribble out the straw. She then announced that she needed new sheets.
I then brought out one of the spill-proof cups we had when she was a baby, the kind that does NOT spill when turned upside down.
She sucked the water out and then spit it onto her bed and pillow. I’m not even joking.
***
Twig: “The cat has a tail!”
Me: “That’s right. Does Daddy have a tail?”
Twig: “No, Daddy has a BUTT.”
***
Momma Murloc: “Granny went to the dentist today.”
Twig: “Grammy get new teeth!!”
***
Twig: “Wash red blankie.”
Me: “There’s nothing wrong with your red blankie.”
Twig: (licks red blanket) “Red blankie wet. Put in dryer.”
***
Twig: “Twig have little feet. Mommy have big feet. Stinky feet. Eew.”
***
Twig (picking her nose): “Don’t eat the boogie.”
Me: “That’s right. We don’t eat boogies.”
Twig: (finger extended toward me) “Take the boogie!”
Me: “Uh, no, I’m not taking the boogie.”
(I’m presuming that my dear audience is aware that telling a child NOT to pick her nose is pretty ineffective, therefore damage control is necessary to ensure that the boogers are not consumed.)
***
Me: “Does Mommy wear a diaper?”
Twig: “Mommy wear underpants!”
Me: “That’s right, and one day you’ll wear underpants. Does the cat wear underpants?”
Twig: “No. Cat wear a BUTT!”
***
Twig: (incoherent screaming)
Me: “Use your words.”
Twig: (stops screaming to announce) “NO WORDS!”
Rofl I am so glad when I read twig-isms. I wonder if my eldest is the only one to shout jibberish for no apparent reason and then takes it personally when you tell him to to use words (normally replied with NO or just negative sounding grunting).
His latest trick is too take the ‘bo-bo’ (bottle) away from his younger brother and place it out of reach whilst saying in a loud authorative voice (learnt from me when I tell them both not to do stuff) “No bo-bo Alfie, no!”
Re: Authoritative voice. Twig has been known to say, if I’m eating something she doesn’t like. “No mommy. Too much in mouth. Spit out.” and hand me a napkin.
I’m not sure I could laugh any harder, honestly.
I must convince my boyfriend to have at least one little kiddo in the future (far future)…
AJ and I were grinning and amused. Up until “NO WORDS” at which point we both burst out laughing simultaneously.
Grats, Twig – the lesbians find you amusing!
LOL! Use your Words! NO WORDS!
This pretty much sums up my last angry rant with my family >.<
I couldn't stop laughing!