Open Letter to PUG Hunters from your PUG tank

Dear PUG Hunters,

Since getting back I’ve leveled up a warrior as a dungeon finder partner with Zel. I tank, she heals, no queues. Here I am with an awesome helm.



Since I’ve pretty much just done PUGs since level 30 I’ve noticed a few trends in your class that I feel I need to point out. Now I know there are good hunters. I’ve seen them, I’ve raided with them. But based on the hunters I’ve seen the last few weeks in PUGs, I am starting to realize the good ones might be the exception than the rule.

What I find annoying can best be summed up with three examples of bad play:

The Tale of Mr. Fluffy
One thing that happens more than it should is pets have some kind of taunt on. This makes sense when questing. It does not make sense in dungeons. In the wilds of Azeroth, a hunter would prefer angry things hit its pet, than its shiny mail armor which happens to be the second toughest armor in the game. Heaven forbid anything bleeds on it.

Anyway when in a group you (the hunter) have someone who signed up (the tank) to take the bloodstains you normally put on your pet. That person has a design for each pull, where they want the baddies to stand, where the baddies should face. When Mr Fluffy or Porkchop or Fartingbearlol taunts, that whole system your PUG tank is working for has been derailed. Bosses have AoE cleaves, and you pet can endanger the nice rogue who set up for back stab action.

The Tale of the Coke Fueled Ferret

The second bad bit of play I see involves a jumping hunter who thinks they can decide on the speed of the pulls. Maybe I’m not ready. Maybe I noticed the healer is low on mana. Maybe I’m waiting for a patr… Oh fuck you did it. Shit shit shit. Now I have to taunt it off you and okay I got this. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU PULL THAT OTHER GROUP FOR? SON OF A B—


The Tale of the Clueless Pull

So the first two tales are so generic they are ubiquitous. This last one is just too perfect to leave in general terms. In a PUG for the Throne of Tides we had a paladin who was pretty cool, and a hunter who seemed kind of clueless. It was fine because he actually didn’t fall into one of the first two problems. We had a wipe or two as we all struggled to remember the mechanics of the bosses and were headed down a hall that had these nasty little goblins with poison spears. If the tank rolls into the pull they all throw a poison spear at him and it is easily half to three fourths of the tanks health. The other mobs in the hall are these horrors things that do a nasty ground slam.  We managed to get to the second to last pull towards the third boss in the place. The paladin and I asked the Hunter if he could send his pet in to take one for the team (meaning “pet dies from the yucky poison rather than the tank”). He didn’t get what we were asking so we told him to have his pet attack, figuring this last pull of goblins was particularly bad and better to have a dead pet than a dead tank. So off his pet ran…to the two horrors just past the goblins, thereby pulling the two hardest pulls in the place at once. After the wipe the hunter dropped group. The paladin and I were just dumbstruck. Even when you give them instructions to pull a group, they still manage to screw it up.

The conclusion that I’ve drawn here is that when I see a hunter come up in my group I am preparing myself for the worst. I don’t want to, but collectively you’ve pushed me to say that hunter is BELOW warlock in my class estimation at the moment. If you turn off taunt and just not pull, I think you can regain my esteem, but I’m not holding my breath.

Sincerely yours,


Instance Crashes? Seriously?

The last 2 nights have been plagued with instance crashes.  We’d be a couple bosses in and I’d disconnect.  I was afraid the first time that it was just my connection and that the group would die without my awesome healing capabilities.  But, no, it was everyone.

Random disconnects I can deal with.  But when they reset the damn instance, that makes me a bit stabby.  And I just want to hit 80 so I can get my chi balls (snicker snicker).  But last night I had to log off because it was apparent that we were not going to finish anything.  Two nights of frequent crashes is frustrating.

Part of the reason I returned to WoW is that it’s a solid game that generally has few bugs.  Like mac n cheese out of the box – tasty but not too exciting and at least you don’t have to worry about a random hair in it.  Fun story, in a European country that shall remain nameless which I visited, I sometimes found long hairs in delicious baked goods.  It was a risk I was willing to take for deliciousness.  But in my mac n cheese?  Oh hell no.

Blizzard, fix yer shit or I might start complaining even louder on the internet.

The Destination Looks Good. The Journey Makes No Sense.

The night before 6.0, I hit 64 and got a new monk ability, healing sphere.1  Haha, I said, that’s going away tomorrow.  And it did.

But here’s the fun part: Detonate Chi, the new ability that “replaces” healing spheres, is also learned at 64.  I gained Detonate Chi and I’m like… what am I supposed to do with that?  I have zero healing spheres to detonate, and won’t until 80 when mastery kicks in.

Sure, I have healing spheres proc… in Windwalker spec.  Greaaat.  No Detonate Chi there.

So I have this ability for 16 levels that does absolutely nothing.  How on earth does that even make sense?  Am I missing something?

Meanwhile, I didn’t get my jade statue until 70.  Now THAT made my healing not suck.  I was struggling mightily at 68-69 because my healing could not keep up.  The healing is balanced around the statue, and right before it, it’s horrible.

I don’t think you can even do fistweaving effectively without that statue, because it doubles your trickle of healing.  So… stance of the spirited crane is pretty much gimped for healing purposes until 70.

At the end, when you’re going to raid, nobody gives a crap when you got an ability.  You just have it.  But for those of us who are working their way up, these discrepancies are glaringly obvious.

  1. I am convinced they called it “sphere” because “balls” LOL! I’ve been calling them “chi balls,” which is incorrect, but makes me giggle.  Yes, I am aware there are actual chi balls in windwalker spec that contain a charge of chi rather than healing.  Shut up.

Stitches Smash!

This weekend, I’m doing utgarde whatsit for the 50th time1 and some enterprising person had a… thing that turned us all into Stitches!

Yep, sneaky.

Look at us!.

First, the rogue went invisible, which is hilarious as a giant monsterbeast.  CLOMP CLOMP, I am sneaking up on YOU!

Totally invisible

Totally invisible.  Also I became overzealous with the name blurring and blurred myself.

The best part was the monk roll.  It was more of a launch forward, belly first.  WHEE.  While I did not capture that, you can see the warrior charge here:

There, you see, he's INVISIBLE


Feel free to admire the awesomeness of my UI.  Its is ok to be jealous

  1. You will see me complain in the screenshots – why do they even CALL it “random” if I get recycled to the same one every time?

Outlands Dungeons in 6.0. You are Not Prepared.

Monday I was happily roflstomping through the outlands instances.  Last night, I got my ass handed to me.

Things may be balanced for endgame, but they are a bit off for leveling.  Sure, I heal for less.  A lot less.  But that is supposed to be because of something something deliberate decision making.  No, there was no deliberate decision making because the tank STILL could get killed in a few hits.  Old style damage spikes, new style healing.  This leads to SPAM SPAM OMG SPAM on the tank and having the dps unceremoniously die if they got aggro.  Sigh.

To add insult to injury, the graveyard is pretty damn far from that stupidass underbog.  That was not fixed when they decided to make things ridiculously easier for everyone in cata.  I feel sorry for people who are new, did not play through BC, and get one of these tricky to find dungeons via the dungeon finder.  We had to talk a group member through it last night.  “Ok, so you walk out to the middle of the lake and there’s a star thing and in the middle you dive down and there’s a pipe…”  Hell, I had trouble finding the pipe and I knew basically where it was.

I’ll talk about new character models later.  Still recovering from the epic beatdown.

Hell Is Other People (In Pugs)

This weekend, a lot of pugging occurred, and I remembered why I hate pugs – people are assholes.

The majority of people were innocuous enough.  A few were even good.  And then there were the assholes who, realistically, were few in number but it felt like there were so many because of how unpleasant they were.

Remember, also, I was running as a healer with thehusband as a tank, and there’s only so much dumbassery 3 dps can cause.

The Hunter Who Needed

So we’re running some Blackrock nonsense for the millionth time and WHOA, a nice purple cloth hat dropped.  Now, I hadn’t seen anything that nice drop like ever in a pug, and I’d been pugging for days, just amazing.  We had a mage in the group.  Isn’t that nice. So, while I would have taken it for healing purposes if nobody else could use it, I chose greed because we had a mage and I am a leather-wearing monk.

It did not go to the mage.  It went to the fucking hunter who also rolled need.  The mage exclaimed something profane (and totally justified) in instance chat, at which point I noticed the loot rolls.  Oh hell no.

I stopped the group.  I just fucking stopped the group and thehusband and I said “You either give that back to the mage or we vote kick you.  We’re waiting.”  Sure enough, the hunter gave it back, and we carried on.  I guess the DPS queue is pretty long after a kick.  The mage whispered his thanks, and I said “No problem.  He was being a dick.”  We ended up doing another instance with that same mage (minus the hunter) and everything went well.

I am relieved, now that we are in outlands dungeons, that the loot interface would prohibit a hunter rolling need on cloth.  Because, seriously.

The Mage Who Pulled

Wait, why are we in combat?  Who pulled that?

Answer, the mage.  Politely, thehusband says to the mage “Please don’t pull, (mage’s name).”  Mage continues pulling.  Sigh.  Husband says, less politely, NO SERIOUSLY STOP PULLING.

To which the mage responds “Well then go faster.”

I wanted to kick that mage so bad.  Here’s the problem: You can’t kick someone in combat.  We were always in combat because the mage was pulling.  And for some reason the other group members felt compelled to assist Sir Pullsalot, meaning I couldn’t just neglect to heal him and have him croak on his own accord.

In between battles, I tried to kick him and failed because there was a 5-minute lockout.  I’m not sure what the 5-minutes are for.  Someone can very well be a total dick in the first four minutes.  Maybe we were locked out of booting him because he had been booted from every previous group since the beginning of time.

The best I could do, since I couldn’t kick him, and he wouldn’t seem to just die without healing, is that I put him on my ignore list so I would never be matched with him again.

The Tank Who Ran Fast

I decided to run an instance when thehusband was not around to tank.  This was a mistake.

The tank did not care about my mana.  The tank did not care that the entire group could not physically run fast enough to keep up with him.  The tank sure as shit didn’t care that he was pulling one group and then running into another, expecting the dps to just handle all the things on the move.

The only way I remotely kept up was to use my rolls.  I regularly ran out of charges.  I do have the extra-charge roll talent.

We wiped.  There was no reason to wipe.  But we wiped.  This was stupid.  It took more time to recover from a wipe than to just damn well kill the groups in an orderly fashion.

The Death Knight Who Was A Death Knight

I’m sure there are a lot of people who know what they are doing with their death knight.  I’m happy for them.  But those people sure as shit were not in my pugs this weekend.

Upon graduating to the outlands dungeons, we were rewarded by having at least death knight in every group who thought he was invincible while simultaneously having no fucking clue what he was doing.  Yay I’m pulling aggro.  WHEE where’s my pet?

For most morons, starting off at 55 is probably a mistake.  I shudder to think of these idiots in possession of a lvl 90 boost.

The Mage Who Hit 60

Upon reaching the end of (yet another) Hellfire Ramparts, a mage who had been courteous throughout the run said that he was SO close to 60, and would we mind queueing for another with him.  Sure, we said, and queued again with him.  He was happy!

We got into Ramparts.  3 pulls in, he dinged 60.  Before we could “grats” he fucking dropped group.

Cool Story, Bro

That was my weekend.  Morons galore.  Hooray.

Getting Back Into The Game

Step 1: Collect underpants.  Seriously, that joke never gets old.

After underpants acquisition is complete, I’m a bit at a loss.  Things are so different now, I’m starting from scratch.  It doesn’t matter that I’m playing a new class because all the classes are new to me right now.

Step 2: Find a guild

Hey guzy, I’m a lvl 52 monk with no gear and no post-cata experience, but I used to be good at this, honest.  PICK ME!

Step 3: Look good

I have never transmogged anything because that happened right around when I left.  I need to do this!  My gnome is wearing a plunging neckline and it’s fucking embarrassing.

Step 4: Oh right, level and get raid-ready.

The pesky “work” part of all this.

At least this time, for raiding purposes, Twig goes to bed and stays asleep.  And I can play when she’s awake without worrying that she’s going to cover herself in flour or any other such nonsense.

6.0 is next week!  Hold on to your butts!

What Just Happened?

So, as you might recall, the husband and I quit wow and started playing SWTOR.  Our guilds eventually crumbled and, while I stayed on, he lost interest.  (As a side note, no, gamer couples don’t need to play the same game, but it certainly makes things nicer.)

But AHA, Wildstar was coming out.  So we tried that.  Our enthusiasm was short-lived when we got to 50 and realized that raiding was not very accessible.  There was a lot I liked about that game, but that was a deal breaker.

We resubbed to WoW. Three years later, seriously, it’s three fucking years later.   We are loving it, which is pretty damn unexpected.  We started new toons and I’m playing a monk.  Monks are badass. (Note, I did not boost and probably will not – because then I’ll be at 90 and have no fucking clue how to play.)

What has changed in 3 years?  Well me!  I was forced out of my comfort zone and learned to play without mods.  I played melee dps.  I briefly played the kinetic crazy that is Wildstar.  And all that made me a better player overall, especially at moving out of the bad.  I still can’t tank worth a crap.  Nobody’s perfect.

And, get ready, Twig grew up a bit.  She’s 6 now and quite the little Minecraft gamer.  She has also learned some of mommy’s less polite vocabulary.  Oh well.

See you in Azeroth.


Hi there!  I’m now playing Wildstar and reconnecting with a bunch of WoW people there, and I figured I’d reach out on this old blog in case people were still subscribed.

If you’re headed to Nexus, stop by and say hi!  (If you’re in SWTOR, you can also say hi at Hawtpants of the Old Republic or @hawtrepublic)

Moving On to a Galaxy Far Far Away

You knew this was coming since it has been suspiciously quiet around here after we got into SWTOR beta.  We’ve unsubscribed from Wow to play SWTOR.

Will we be back? It’s entirely possible.  It’s also possible we won’t.  For now, though, we’re going to give SWTOR our full attention.

But first, I want to say Thank You…

My TEAM HEAL –  You guys crack me up every single raid.  We never snipe, we never fight, and we just complement each other.  This is the strongest heal team I’ve ever had the honor to be a part of.  I can’t say that any of us is the “cornerstone.”  That’s a good thing.

The Effers – You are all awesome.  Instead of trying to find like-minded people on a server, we found like-minded people and brought them to the server.  It has been incredible being part of a team that has the same drive to succeed and similar priorities about balancing gaming and real life.

The Wow Blogosphere – We are such a wacky bunch.  I’ve loved reading your thoughts, commenting, and discussing.  Though our opinions are diverse, there is a core of respect for each other and genuine friendship.

The Commenters – I’m not sure if I could have blathered on to an empty room.  You were invaluable – especially when you disagreed with me and forced me to rethink my position.

The Readers – The silent majority is the reason why I write.  So that you might find something useful or amusing within the chaos.  Thanks for sticking with me.

The Future

As I mentioned before, I have a new blog for SWTOR.  (The husband is blogging a bit too at his guild’s website.)  Now, if you’re not playing SWTOR why would you read my blog?  You wouldn’t.  I don’t expect that you would.  But if you ARE playing, maybe you DO want to read it.  No pressure.  It will be the same old shit that I do here plus uh… blasters and hawtpants.  Don’t ask.

And with that… MRGLMRGL!