The Balance Druid Deal-Breaker

I managed to talk people into messing about on the horde side with my incessant QQ about being super-bored with the alliance.  7 years in wow, all alliance, I think it’s time for a change.1

As another change of pace, I decided to try to level my troll druid as balance rather than feral.  At level 10 I picked balance and went off to blast the shit out of things.  I had a nice sun/moon thingy tracker and was ready for action.

I got into combat and this giant fucking orb appeared over my head.  I have to turn THAT off, I said to myself, I just need to find out which addon it is.  Blizzard effects off, check.  It’s not supervillain.  It’s not droodfocus it’s… At which point I alt tabbed out to Google F Search and discovered to my horror that it’s just baked into the game above your character’s head and it will always be there without any way to suppress its idiocy.

I ran screaming for the nearest druid trainer so I could swap back to feral.  Experiment over.  Since I failed to take a screenshot of the godawful ball of evil in my haste to get rid of it, here is a dramatic reenactment, for posterity:


Epic art!

  1.  P.S. Fuck you, Varian!

Garrison Hiatus

A bunch of other bloggers noticed this post at the wow forums, and it blew my mind.  Read it.  GO NOW.

It’s all important but here is what struck me:

People hate the sense that a reward dangled right in front of them will be lost permanently if they fail to act. The Garrison chores are a perfect example of this… Not doing the task to get the reward makes you feel like you’re stupidly giving up a gain.

Oh. Snap.

Granted, I don’t have much time to play, but when I log in, I first do my garrison stuff.  There are a bunch of dots on the map and blinky things telling me that my idiots are done.  And it’s right there, so I should stop being lazy and just get it.

No no no!  This is not what I want my limited game time to become.

Garrison, it’s not you, it’s me.  I need a break.

If I feel a compulsion to gather rewards right in front of me, and I do feel that compulsion, the trick is to make the rewards not be in front of me.  This week, I will log out of the game in Ashran. When I log back in, I will not be there to see the dots of unpicked resources taunting me.  I will find other ways to amuse myself.

But not fishing.  Fishing sucks.

A Second Garrison

I spend way too much time in my garrison, as evidenced by this unfortunate selfie of my druid dancing in deer form and my mage husband doing an illusion to do the same.


I have no idea what insanity came over me, but I suddenly decided that I needed MORE idiots to send out.  And so my 90 monk started the climb.

Why, just why?

I had forgotten how shitty garrisons look at first.  Never fear, I found pepe, at least, so it felt like home.



What Is Community Worth?

I’m just as dismayed as anyone else that WoW Insider is being forced to close up shop.  But this is a symptom of a bigger and more insidious problem: community as profit.

We had a major hub of the community, and it got shut down because it wasn’t making enough money.  Our community is at the mercy of people staring at spreadsheets.  Why should we start to congregate somewhere new, which is necessarily large and therefore likely to be a major company’s project, only to have it yanked out from under us?

I’ve seen this happen before and no doubt it will happen again.  The best we can do is to support the independent sites that foster community and hope to hell that they don’t shut down – but at least if they do, it won’t be because some mega-company pulled the plug.

Around The Garrison

Due to the annoyances of real life, I haven’t been doing much more than sending out my idiots to get me goodies in my garrison.  At least they can slog away getting me gear while I can’t be there.

I have no idea how someone could possibly keep up with more than one garrison.  Mine is at least a half hour a day, even when I’m being super-fast.

Master Plan

Master Plan is the best addon ever invented ever.  Seriously, it takes all the work out of missions.  I liked, at first, assembling my teams carefully based on traits, but that gets old pretty fast.  Also the “yay we win” screens are annoying.  Master Plan gives you suggested teams for missions and fast mission completion.  Yes please.  It looks like Blizzard is streamlining the interface in Patch 6.1 to look more like Master Plan.

Trading Post

The trading post is great.  Don’t think of it as generating resources for your garrison.  Think of it as trading shit you don’t need for shit you do need.  Every day, they take a different resource.  I got level 2 (totally worth it), so I can have 14 work orders at a time, meaning I can simply SKIP the days where they take resources that I don’t have (particularly draenic dust and sumptuous fur) and it still keeps cranking out boxes from the previous day’s orders.  Now, I need sumptuous fur to keep the hubby happy, so when Trader Yula arrives, I stock up.  She sells the furs for 20 boxes.  This works for just about any resource that you need: remember which idiot sells it for 20 boxes, buy it up on that day of the week.  MAGIC.

Lumber Mill

What the… why are you guys just standing there?


Nice photobomb, Pinchington


I got the tier 3 barracks because I had too many followers.  In exploring, I realized it has a tiny basement jail with one prisoner, no doubt illegally detained.



And there’s the stink bucket.  Great.


The UN will be sanctioning me right and left for prison conditions.  There goes my trade agreement for sumptuous furs.

More Fishing. Clearly, I am an Idiot.

I got Draenor Angler, because I wanted to catch the big fishies in my garrison pond (so I never have to go out and fish elsewhere again, like I just did for the achievement).


After that, I wasn’t too enthused about tracking down Nat Pagle, but I did have 24/25 followers, so I could use another one.  I had to chase him to Pandaria where I met this charming fellow.

Oh. Ha. Ha.

Oh. Ha. Ha.


Then Nat sends me out to every zone to catch fish, because I didn’t JUST do that for Draenor Angler.  Whatever, jerk.

Fishing (in hordie territory, in a swamp that looks like pee) with my good luck charm, Pepe, and my companion crab, Pinchington.

Fishing (in hordie territory, in a swamp that looks like pee) with my good luck charm, Pepe, and my companion crab, Pinchington.

Now he’s my follower.  He’s not the most useful guy on the block, but he sells a land shark.  Guys, LAND SHARK.

land shark

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, shut up, you’re a fetus.

Last point is fishing quests.  I was doing the fishing daily for my garrison pretty regularly while I was leveling up fishing.  However, even when I’m maxed out, I still do it because I get 2-5 primals out of the backpack of goodies – and it costs me no time.

See, I never gutted those fishies that I grabbed for Draenor Angler.  They’re sitting in my bank.  So when I get a quest for Fat Finless Blimper Eggs, I go to my bank, gut the appropriate fish (usually twice) and then hand in the eggs to doofy when I return to my garrison.  Easysauce.

I also got Pinchington the crab, my new favorite pet, out of one of the packs.

Pepe Goes To The Faire

I found that little jerk Pepe the bird sitting just out of clicking range in my garrison.  Using Google F. Search, I bound “interact with target” to a key and then jumped up and down spamming the key like a moron until Pepe perched on my head.

I thought Pepe would be bored hanging around the garrison, so I took him to the last day of the Darkmoon Faire

We set off fireworks

We set off fireworks

I took him flying! Yes, I know birds can usually fly.

I took him flying! Yes, I know birds can already fly.

I need to find more productive ways to spend my time.

The Golden Age of Parenting

I always said, wistfully, when I was retrieving Mouse instead of raiding that ONE DAY this child will farm gold for me.

That day has arrived.  Well sort of.  She’s not great at combat yet.  But garrison farming she can totally do.

And, get this, she thinks that garrison farming is fun and that we’re doing her a favor by letting her login as us and plod through our mines and gardens.  She empties the garrison cache.  Then she follows that stupid dog to its treasure (more garrison resources).

She’s even learned how to send out our idiots… um I mean followers.  I explained about matching traits and for the most part she gets it.  Maybe it’s not the optimal matching but what do I care – I’m not the one having to do it!  As long as she’s at least making the effort to get them to around 70% before sending them off, I’m fine with it.

I’ve paid my dues with many sleepless nights.  I deserve to take a nap while my spawn handles my online chores.

If only she’d learn to fish.